A few weeks ago, a friend and fellow writer Becky Isjwara asked me how I approach people on the street to take their portraits. I must say, I think about this A LOT. It is such an anxiety-inducing topic. How do you ask a stranger if you could photograph them?!?!

This was the emotion that plagued me during my biggest portrait photography project,”Heroes in a 100 Faces.” It is a compilation of 100 portraits taken across India, celebrating the common folk of my country. 

While I don’t have a surefire way of getting someone to say yes to this, I do have some tips that might help.

• Smile: This is one of the best ways to connect with a stranger. It shows you’re human and not a robot. If you smile, they’ll most probably smile as well, making it easier to ask them.
• Explain: Tell them why you want to photograph them. If you’re a photographer, say that. If you’re working on a project, say that. If you think they’re beautiful, say that. You should give them a reason to look into your camera. It took me a while to learn this (an adolescent boy asking to photograph you doesn’t look good without a reason…)
• Treat the interaction like a conversation, NOT a transaction: By taking someone’s portrait, they are trusting you with their smiles. You CANNOT treat that lightly. You NEED to acknowledge the person. Have a chat with them. Get them a cup of chai (or whatever the equivalent thing is outside India). Engage with them. This isn’t a transaction; it’s the possibility of authentic human connection.
• Ask questions: It’s always good to ask questions. Learn about them. Ask them about their lives. In my experience, the people willing to let you photograph them are the kind that would enjoy a 2-minute chat. 
• Send them the photographs: Very often, the person being photographed will ask you to send them the images. This is the least you can do; they let you photograph them, after all. Take their contact details and send them the image afterwards. 
• Be socially conscious: Don’t make it seem like you’re forcing them. Give people the space to say no. Don’t approach someone very busy or visibly uncomfortable. Read social cues and act accordingly. 
• Build Your Rejection Muscle: Trust me, you will get rejected. That’s just how this works. If you haven’t gotten rejected yet, you haven’t done it enough. If I had a penny for every time I got rejected, I’d be drowning in money by now. 

These tips are not exhaustive, but they should get you going. Just remember: you have nothing to lose by asking someone if you can take their portrait. Suppose they say yes, then great! If not, you’re still okay, and now you’ve learnt how to take rejection. Life is going to inevitably reject you at some point. This is good target practice. You benefit either way.